Summer Dreams...

As I sit here reflecting on the summer, it's raining outside, and it feels like fall. I grow a bit nostalgic when I think of the approaching fall, as that was my mother's favorite season. It's mine too. The changing leaves, the cool nights and mornings, the crisp air. Sweatshirts and football. All of it sounds great. But, I'm not going to get ahead of myself. This summer I have not felt compelled to sit at the computer. My heart and mind have been in the present, living in the moment, being with my children. I saw a posting on Facebook earlier this spring that read, "18 summers". That's how many we have until our children are off to college. And so, enjoy each other, we did. The boys kept busy with swim lessons, basketball camp, and Cub Scout camp for Christian. I sat and watched them grow, and become just a bit more independent as they would venture out to the neighbors house down the road or across the street to play. Walkie-Talkies have become a very good tool for us while they are out. This summer, we also took a family vacation to Florida with our very good friends and their two daughters. We stayed in a house together and loved it. It was a lot of work- getting the kiddos beach-ready every day. However, I know that we are making memories. And as I sit here and think of how Teddy loved the waves and how Christian loved the Boogie Board, and how Charlie enjoyed playing in the sand, I am pleased that we took the 19 hour trek (yes, 19 with stops!). Memories are many from that vacation. Little Miss Maggie, or "Lady Mags" as we call here, has a beautiful spirit. Her personality is starting to come through. At nearly 5 months old, she gives us so much joy with her smiles, giggles, and silliness. She will often giggle without any reason, and so I imagine her having some kind of private joke in her head, one that only she knows and she laughs about it out loud. Maggie was baptized on July 12th and it was a very touching baptism. We had it during Mass, and she was amazing. She didn't let out a single sound until our priest held her up and introduced her to the congregation, at which point it was perfect. I felt so moved on that day, so blessed to have been a part of her first sacrament. And now we are in August. The older boys started school yesterday. And I am again with two children at home. Charlie will be in kindergarten next year, and the thought of that right now makes me quite sad. He has been with me through so much. While my Mom was going through treatments, he would sometimes have to tag along. He would light up the waiting room in the radiation therapy office. I'm so grateful for that time. The time spent with him, watching as he not only gave me joy, but my mother, and those around us; a blessing for them to not have to focus on their treatment, if only for a few minutes. Thus, I am finding myself taking the time with him; time to sit and read with him or put together a puzzle. I try to focus on his long, detailed stories about his imaginary friends with interest, and ask questions. His imagination is such a gift. I love watching him play and interact with his sister very sweetly and lovingly as a big brother should. He holds her pacifier in her mouth when I can't get to her right away, and he talks to her and makes her giggle. I love those moments. We are really beginning to feel plugged in to our church community. Chad recently accepted the a spot on the parish council. We are both lectors. And, I have made a friend, who is my "Rosary buddy". She has 5 children, and one in Heaven, and I smile when I think about God's plan for me, and how He brought her and her family in to our lives. She and I have very similar city-turned-country girl stories and when we are together, I sometimes feel as though God is speaking to me right through her. We have a plan to say the rosary together once a week and it has been a huge blessing. Her daughters babysit for us, another added bonus. As I end this post, I hear the grain trucks loading up at the grain bins for one last time today. Chad, his Dad, and the farm hand have been hauling grain for about 3 weeks. Gotta make room in those bins for the coming harvest! Finally...we have kittens. Three of them. Chad's dad brought them here to be mousers. They like to antagonize Murphy through the windows and screen door. Ugh. There's also constant talk between Chad and I of bringing chickens to the farm yet this year...stay tuned...

A Reflection

We are approaching one year of living here at the farm. June 1st is the anniversary date. As we approach that date, I find myself reflecting on the past year. Where I am now and where I was, and even where I hope to be. I often hear the phrase, "Where has the time gone?" It seems so cliche at times, but in all honesty, right now I ponder that question often. Why is it that the older we get, the faster our lives seem to go? Before moving here, I may have had certain expectations of myself and what I could accomplish in a year's time. Heck, I maybe even romanticized the idea of living on a farm. (Picture a road side stand with me and kids selling homegrown vegetables, homemade salsas and homemade jams from our luscious garden. Oh, and fresh eggs from all of our free-range chickens. Also, me and Chad in the tractor riding off into the sunset.) So, none of that has happened...yet. There is no garden. There are no chickens. There are no farm fresh eggs. The tractor thing? I haven't even been IN the tractor. I haven't been on any of the cool farm equipment. And, if you ask me, I can't even tell you exactly where all of our land is. Truth: there are STILL UNPACKED BOXES in our garage. What is in them? I have no idea, but whatever it is, apparently we can live without it. TRUTH: there are unpacked totes in my boys bedrooms. Yes. TRUTH: Our house isn't even close to being "done". There is a back splash in the kitchen to be put in. There is trim that still needs to be hung, a storage bench in our mudroom that needs painting, an office in our basement that is full of junk and is far from being an office, and gutters. Oh, the gutters need to be replaced. Landscaping is just beginning. So, what the heck have we been doing? Well, it has not been very romantic on the farm. It's hard work. I really didn't know hard work until I have witnessed the hard work put in by my husband, his dad, and the farm hands. The time spent on the farm has left little time for much else in terms of getting our house "done". But, I know it will come. TRUTH: I don't LOVE it here. Not yet. I may never LOVE it. I like it. Some days I like it a lot. It's tough for me to be so far from stores, neighbors and such. Driving anywhere to do anything takes up atleast half of the day. I'm not complaining, just being truthful. It's an adjustment, still, even after nearly a year. While reading this, my dear reader, you may begin to think that I'm disappointed in this life. That my expectations were too high and I set myself up for disappointment. Well, I might have. I'm not disappointed though. We lost my mother this year after her 3 year battle with lung cancer. After moving to the farm, she began to go downhill, slowly at first, then rather quickly. I mention this NOT because I resent her for taking up so much of our time, but because I look at that time as a time for stewardship for us. Yes, things got pushed aside in order to care for her. However, being her caregivers was something that I would not change for anything. We were given the opportunity to be Jesus to her. Though that time was so very difficult, I know it made me grow, both in my faith, and in my relationship with my husband. After going through that time, I don't take anything for granted, and I do my best to live in the present. I thank God for that. So, instead of talking about what I DON'T have, and what I HAVEN'T accomplished, here is what I do have:

Margaret Marie Hanna

Hello friends, On Thursday, March 12th, 2015 at 7:39am, I gave birth to a BABY GIRL via csection. I am just now getting around to looking at the pictures of the event. Margaret (Maggie) was 7pounds, 15 ounces and 21 inches long. She was born with a full head of black hair and is the sweetest thing! We are so blessed and happy. These days are challenging as we are a bit sleep deprived, but more than anything, we just feel blessed. Her brothers absolutely love her. She is healthy, and I am recovering well from the surgery. Here are some pics of the big day and days after.

Baby Day is Almost Here!

I've been trying to come up with some ideas to blog about. It's been very difficult since my mom passed away in January. Before that, things were in a bit of a tailspin, and life was just full of emotion. Even now, there are many emotions as we are preparing to welcome our 4th child on March 12th, which is THIS THURSDAY! Right now I'm just busying myself with "getting ready" though, I know that my home will never really be in the pristine germ-free, dirt-free condition that I would like it to be in when baby comes home. There will always be clutter, there will always be dust, there will always be dirt. Hey, we live on a farm. We have a "Mud Room" for a reason- it's supposed to be dirty. Our farm is a mess right now. Meaning, the grounds. With the melting snow (not complaining that it's melting) a lot of mud gets tracked in. With a dog, three boys and a husband, well, mud is inevitable. But, it's ok. Being that spring is approaching, we are looking ahead to planting season. I'm so excited because this year, we are going to have a big garden. A big, farm garden, which has been my dream since we decided to move here. This will be my "baby" (next to our actual baby), and I'm excited at the possibilities that this garden gives us. Canning and freezing are at the top of my list. And you know what? I'm not afraid to fail at it. I'm ready to see what this soil can give us, and what, in turn, we can then give to others. I have a few words for my unborn child: I'm excited to meet you. Your Dad, brothers, and I cannot wait to see your little face and cuddle with you. Our family, we, are a bit nutty. We are silly. We love to laugh. We love to have fun. And, we are full of love. Our love for you has grown so much over the past 9 months, and it will continue to grow. My biggest wish for you is that you will love God, and you will know how special you are to Him. We are full of faith and we are full of hope. We cannot wait to get to know you and see the gift that God has blessed us with. I hope to be able to post a picture or 2 on this blog on Thursday. We will see how I am feeling.